The How I Let My Best Friend Fall In Love With Me

Before I had known it, I had made a best friend. 

This boy then told me that his sister was surprised we haven’t fucked yet. AND his mother “shipped” us. 

We had mutual friends, so we connected online. We had a year of online friendship. It wasn’t an obsessive, “I have to text you everyday” thing, we were truly friends. So the time came where we finally had the chance to meet and hang out. In person! Sure, we were both excited, but we really didn’t know what to expect from each other. We were opposite sex, so would one of us be attracted to another? Possibly, but let’s continue…

He was a constant in my life. Always there, comforting, fun, goofy, could be serious, but also have the ability to just chill out.  We were so close. In my mind, it was okay to be close with a male. 

But I made a mistake. I’m torn–between wishing I had never allowed myself to do the things I did, and being glad it happened. And I think he’s the same way. 

What exactly happened between these two?! You wonder. 

My first mistake was when I asked to sleepover at his place because we were too tired to drive me home. That night, I allowed myself to be cuddled, then kissed. We shared his twin size bed until 5 am, and he found it hard to let me go. 

Later that day he said to me, “I hadn’t had that good a sleep in a while.”  

The second night, I let him cuddle me again, but it wasn’t for long. His mom caught us in the same bed though. Oops. 

After that, we were at a mall. He went shopping with me, and was very patient. Then we went into a photo booth and when I puckered my lips to make a funny face, he thought I was going in for a kiss. We had to resolve that awkwardness within 10 seconds for the next photo. 

I should’ve seen the signs within my first visit. But wait, it gets worse. 

He drove 250 miles from his home to see me. Twice. 

You know how when you find that special someone you’ll never actually get annoyed with them even though you spend everyday with them?  Yeah, I got annoyed. The first visit, he surprised me a month after first seeing him. He was very touchy, and would make the dumbest jokes. By the end of the week, I had grown tired of him and couldn’t wait for him to go.  

Nine months pass. Again, he comes to visit, but this time we planned. it. I was excited to see my friend. He would stay for a week, and this time it was fine. We would wander around town at night and talk. I also wanted to fool my coworkers that he was my boyfriend… That was dumb. Then, his mom and sister visit. They all acted like I was already family… This boy then told me that his sister was surprised we haven’t fucked yet. AND his mother “shipped” us. Face palm.

I then had only realized how much damage I had done. I did what everyone tells girls to do, “Just be yourself.” Yeah, well, I was and my friend fell in love with me. I also admit that I let him hold me in a way someone interested would hold a person. I led him on, and I hadn’t payed attention to it. I let my friend be more than a friend every once in a while… Enough to let himself fall for me. 

 It’s made me question how I interacted with guys, and once I realized it all, everything made sense. 

Nowadays, I have no close guy friends. I think it’s better this way. 

So this wasn’t the Boy Next Door story. I never had a secret crush on him. This was all just a Charlie Foxtrot. 

So girls, know that you are beautiful, and even your most unexpected guy friend probably has a crush on you. Realize that you can unintentionally lead men on (yes, you have that power). 




The Blind Date

This is a different kind of blind. This is the date when you are just casually hanging with a dude and suddenly someone swoops in, saying it’s a date. “If it’s just you two, it’s a date.”

Fuck. That.

I’m one of those girls that actually likes hanging out with guys. It is a good and horrible thing.

I suppose I’m going “old school” and insist that when there is indeed a date, the guy should man up and straight up say it’s a date. None of this “hanging out ” shit. No. Smh.

Honestly, this messing around, saying two people are dating when they’ve sincerely just hung out is.. belittling.

It’s a date or it’s not. You’re in a relationship or not… You’re dead or you’re not.

Don’t let yourself be caught up in this kind of blind date. You may seem old school or a label-er, but know what you’ve stepped into. Be blunt. Don’t feel as though your whole time of hanging out will turn into a date-trap.

For future reference, remember this:

“Discern the relationship.
Pursue with clarity.
Commit with sincerity.”

~Jason Evert


Wait for this guy. ^ Obviously ready for a date with you, and has brought beautiful roses to decorate your house so when you see the flowers you’ll think of him. Dorky, I know. But who isn’t a romantic in someway? ūüėČ

P.S. The guy is Nick Bateman in the pic.

A First Date Without Roses

Let me tell you about my first date ever.

It was 3 days before the New Year. Me and a guy, let’s call him “Alec”, from work had started flirting a week before hand.

I was new to the job, so I was fresh meat. I made friends with everyone fast, and soon ¬†I was headed to the bowling alley in town to play a round with Alec and his friend. They were cool. We laughed a bunch, which I hadn’t been able to do in a while. Inside jokes were made between the three of us. And soon, it was 10 o’clock and time to go home. The next day, we all hung out again. I was surprised they actually wanted to pick me up the next morning. It was raining and grey out, so we decided to head to Alec’s house and hang out… Long story short, I realized I liked flirting with Alec. He was a possibility in my mind.

And so it was those 3 days before New Years when I made the mistake (even though I thought it was cool) of asking¬†him out on a date. We had talked about taking the 4-wheelers out of town to see the city lights and stargaze (romantic, right?). Plus, it was an adventure, and I like adventures. ¬†He never actually decided when we would go, and I was getting anxious. I wanted to see the city lights.. and have some alone time with this guy. I really didn’t know much about him; what he liked, what he didn’t, what he wanted to do in life. ¬†So, I asked him if we could make it a date. And boy, did he jump right in and say yes! The next day was our date.

We got off work at the same time the next day, but throughout the day we gave each other intimate glances and smiles. At one point, I said to him, “Better make it special. It’s my first date ever,” with a wink. He said he would make it special.

And honestly, it really was a good first date.

I had changed into something cute, but not too cute to where I was trying to impress anyone.

As it had turned out, the recent rain had made the 4-wheeler road  slippery with mud, so that meant no adventure.

Instead, we went long boarding in the park by the lake, grabbed some pizza, and headed back to Alec’s place. Next, was the most romantic part of the night; watching a rom-com on the back porch. There were little christmas lights strung up, and a fancy fireplace. To top it off, the weather was warm and a light breeze shuffled the palm trees. It was absolutely perfect.

The rest of the 2 hours we spent together that night was good. We laughed and it was easy. His parents were light and fun to be around, I didn’t feel intimidated.

All in all, this date lasted 6 hours, I think. A long date.


The next couple of days changed rapidly. At work, and in general. I think I made the mistake of asking if we could do it again. After I said that, the silent treatment began.

No texts. No talking to me at work. Avoiding me.

This is where I decided that no matter how nice the boy is, a boy can always turn his back to you.

A date without roses. It was a date, no doubt, but it held nothing real.

Have you ever been on a date like this?